Why Your Team Sucks 2013: Cincinnati Bengals

Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here. Your team: Cincinnati Bengals Your 2012 record: 10-6. Nothing says "first-round chum" like the Bengals stumbling their way to 10-6. Did no one else in the AFC really want to make the playoffs last season? Such a waste. I bet the Texans threw a fucking party when they learned they got to play the Bengals in the first round again. It's like drawing a matchup against Glass Joe. Hey, look! The Bengals are the six seed, everyone! That's cute! Your coach: Marvin Lewis. If you're gonna be too cheap to fire a coach before his c…

Here’s why Cristiano Ronaldo is back in court over 2009 sexual assault claim

The next time someone tells you that sexual assault allegations “ruin a man’s career,” you only have to point to Cristiano Ronaldo. It’s been nearly five years since the German outlet Der Spiegel published what it purported were leaked documents between Ronaldo’s attorneys regarding an alleged sexual assault he was accused of perpetrating in 2009, and Ronald remains the highest-paid athlete in the world, making even more money off the field than on it. And 2009 was the second time Ronaldo was accused of sexual assault. To understand why Ronaldo’s attorneys were back in court last week arguing against reopening a civil case that was thrown out by a federal judge in 2022, you have to go all the way back to 2009, when Kathryn Mayorga, a formal model, and teacher in Las Vegas,…

Tom Brady's Family Suite at Gillette Stadium Has Been Cleaned Perhaps Like it Has Never Been Cleaned Before

data-mm-id=”_t90as67wf”>Tom Brady Rumor SZN is in full swing. With the Patriots vanquished by the Tennessee Titans, Tom Brady's time in New England may have come to an end. And if it hasn't, well, we're still going to look at every little thing in his life from here on out until he announces where he will play next season as proof that he is leaving New England forever. Like, when the Patriots cleaned up the stadium after the season ended. According to WEEI's Greg Hill, the Brady suite has been cleaned out. This is not a drill.”“The Brady suite at Gillette Stadium where (Gisele Bundchen) has been known to watch her husband play football has been cleaned out,” he said.

Hill added: “It would appear to be, by those who are in the know, that it has been cleaned out…

The Future of Baseball on Television Is Finally Here

data-mm-id=”_njpg0fe1x”>Necessity is the mother of invention. Game broadcasts, long due for a reinvention, have been forced into new frontiers in the COVID world, to mixed results. Hope springs eternal that the best ideas will rise to the top and be implemented in some way, shape or form if America ever returns to a semblance of normalcy. MLB Network is trying out some new-fangled things this week culminating in a Friday night presentation of the Milwaukee Brewers-Chicago Cubs game that will marry the on-field action with elements of the Emmy-winning MLB Tonight studio show. It's always best to let people closest to the vision explain it, so here goes.”At different points of the night and in trademark MLB Tonight style, the telecast will shift to a two-box format and whip around…

Rob Manfred Did a Softball Interview With MLB Network, He Should be Resigning

data-mm-id=”_jqb69sryg”>Rob Manfred did an interview with Tom Verducci on MLB Network Monday evening to address the Miami Marlins COVID-19 outbreak. With a major story developing in his sport, Manfred opted for a softball interview from the media arm of the league he oversees. Given how he answered the questions, MLB's commissioner is still clueless. At last count, 11 Marlins players of the 33 who have been traveling with the team — and two coaches — have tested positive for COVID-19. That's an enormous outbreak. It's also troubling that Miami took the field against the Philadelphia Phillies on Sunday knowing an outbreak was brewing. Baseball is in need of strong leadership from its commissioner in the face of such a crisis. Unfortunately, instead of a competent leader…

Brian Windhorst Raises Wild Theory About Possible Lakers Pursuit of Giannis Antetokounmpo

data-mm-id=”_xf3ss7zxd”>The Giannis Antetokounmpo sweepstakes will be theoretically in full swing for as long as the Milwaukee Bucks superstar holds off on signing the supermax extension only the Bucks can offer him. The team made some big moves already this offseason to convince their franchise cornerstone they're all-in, most notably trading a huge package of picks and players for Jrue Holiday. But Giannis still hasn't signed the extension, so the rumor mill will continue to churn about his immediate future and where he could end up if not in Milwaukee. The Los Angeles Lakers have been even busier than the Bucks during their brief offseason following an NBA title won in Orlando. They've replaced four important rotation players from the 2019-20 season with a new crop of…

John Ourand: Morale at ESPN 'As Low As Any Time I've Ever Seen'

data-mm-id=”_s1nwjq51o”>Andrew Marchand and John Ourand discussed the ongoing Disney layoffs and their impact on ESPN during their latest podcast, ticking through the moves that have already been made and contextualizing the impact the slow-moving ax of doom is having on the place. Obviously there's not much of a positive spin to put on the situation, yet it was interesting to hear both parties reflect on how much of the previous luster has eroded (at the 12:30 mark below). "It's the Yankees of sports media, it's still No. 1," Marchand said. "But it's kind of like the Yankees. The Yankees haven't won in a long time. They might still be the Yankees but until they start winning some championships again they are not really the Yankees. I think as a …